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  • Writer's pictureC. Daylee

Non-Martial Births

Updated: Sep 19, 2020

I would like to affirm that teen pregnancies are down and are gradually continuing to slide downhill. I find that to be a good thing. It is a good thing for young women, and an excellent

thing that infants are not being born to young girls who are not financially able and lack the maturity for the awesome responsibility they would be taking on. Since 2009, there has been a steady decline in unwedded births. There are many reasons for this decline, and I am unaware of many of the reasons, but some are common sense. Many young girls are not becoming sexually active until later in life; some get involved in extra-curricular activities that take their time; some work part time or full time job that keep themselves busy after school; and some get involved in mentoring programs that assist them in becoming grounded and recognizing that a positive future can be a part of their dream. The statistics gives me hope for so many young girls and women to invest in themselves, by completing their education. There is so many ways that young women can soar. There are programs for low income women, that can assist them in finding a trade that fits their skills and interests. There is the military, technical programs, that teach you a trade that you would receive a certification in, and there is always college.

The statistical data shows that the states with the highest nonmarital birth rate is in the southern states. The statistic show that lack of education; lack of birth control, and being a product of low-income family, are regular contributors. Amazingly the statics are still falling in those areas. Women are the strongest group of individuals who can make something happen if they put their minds to it.

The news about the declining nonmartial births is always positive, but there is great work yet to be done. The statistical data concerning African American girls, and young women are the highest in the nation. My question is what is holding this group of young people back? Why are they not getting the message that there is another way? Is it that they are the latest members of a societal cycle that has gone on for years in their maternal family, and none of the women in their life have been able to pull themselves out? In order for the cycle to be broke. I ask this question because I was recently counseling a young African American woman. She is the product of a nonmartial birth . She does not know her father. The data indicates that the cycle of nonmartial births can go back three to four generations. She inquired what she could do, and would I be able to assist her in turning her life around. It is not her desire to have a child out of wedlock. I told her we could design a plan and adjust it as needed because life was not a liner.

Pathway to Relief:

  • Do everything you can to stay in school and get some kind of trade.

  • Know that you are valued, and your life has value.

  • Find a mentor , whom you have something in common with, some between 5 to 10 years older.

  • Find someone in your area to become your prayer partner.

  • Do not blame your mother. She could not lead you out of a cycle she herself had been born into.

  • Do not start dating until you understand who you are.

  • Know that lust has nothing to do with love and intimacy.

  • Never take on a responsibility that is bigger than you.

  • The love of an infant is not a replacement for you loving and knowing yourself.

  • If you are a responsible person and can afford it, if you feel that your time for parenting is passing you by consider the awesome responsibility and move forward.

If this is a subject that you are interested and would like to talk more, contact me on my blog.

Thank You,

C. Daylee


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